Begcubgubfum is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful lion.

Begcubgubfum created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begcubgubfum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Begcubgubfum, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Begcubgubfum's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Begcubgubfum's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Begcubgubfum.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.