Fentitmadgig is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, merciful whale.

Fentitmadgig created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fentitmadgig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fentitmadgig, she will strike you with lightening.

Fentitmadgig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fentitmadgig's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fentitmadgig.

5. Do not make images of living things.