Dossnuttof is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tranquil seal.

Dossnuttof created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossnuttof, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dossnuttof, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dossnuttof's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Dossnuttof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Worship no other gods but Dossnuttof.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not hurt turtles.

5. You must love Dossnuttof.