Hakdamhoglim is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, intelligent penguin.

Hakdamhoglim created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakdamhoglim, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hakdamhoglim, she will turn you into a snail.

Hakdamhoglim's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Hakdamhoglim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Worship no other gods but Hakdamhoglim.