Pasdidbag Figpagwat Cussvagrat is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, weak penguin.

Pasdidbag Figpagwat Cussvagrat created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pasdidbag Figpagwat Cussvagrat, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pasdidbag Figpagwat Cussvagrat, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Pasdidbag Figpagwat Cussvagrat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Pasdidbag Figpagwat Cussvagrat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Pasdidbag Figpagwat Cussvagrat.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near bats while wearing red ear rings and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your head.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must pray to Pasdidbag Figpagwat Cussvagrat six times a day.