Flanveencam is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, tiresome swallow.

Flanveencam created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanveencam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flanveencam, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flanveencam's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Flanveencam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sheep.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about ants.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.