Spaggumpin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, bad-tempered snail.

Spaggumpin created the Andromeda Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Spaggumpin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Spaggumpin, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Spaggumpin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Spaggumpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt turtles.

2. Never paint your face pink.

3. Run away if seven porpoises approach from the north.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Never eat green fruit.