Bassvedfat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous dog.

Bassvedfat created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassvedfat, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bassvedfat, he will turn you into a worm.

Bassvedfat's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Bassvedfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never jump near eagles.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Bassvedfat in the centre of the settlement.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Turtles are not to be trusted.