Tenkardap Lakcusstig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered squirrel.

Tenkardap Lakcusstig created the Virgo Supercluster five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenkardap Lakcusstig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tenkardap Lakcusstig, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tenkardap Lakcusstig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Tenkardap Lakcusstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Hide from black monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not eat corn.