Yamcumfat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty dugong.

Yamcumfat created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Yamcumfat, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yamcumfat, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Yamcumfat's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Yamcumfat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never wear brown tights.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Worship no other gods but Yamcumfat.

5. Never bounce in the presence of sharks.