Bugsugzed Jinmetgep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, smart chinchilla.

Bugsugzed Jinmetgep created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugsugzed Jinmetgep, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bugsugzed Jinmetgep, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bugsugzed Jinmetgep's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Bugsugzed Jinmetgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat figs.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Never feed grapes to voles while wearing dresses.

5. Retreat if four mites approach from the west.