Arptombud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, compassionate turtle.

Arptombud created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Arptombud, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Arptombud, it will turn you into a sheep.

Arptombud's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Arptombud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Arptombud on top of important buildings.

5. Arptombud loves voles, so they must be respected.