Lanfemgom is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, fast wyrm.

Lanfemgom created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanfemgom, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lanfemgom, he will strike you with lightening.

Lanfemgom's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Lanfemgom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.