Quillpidpad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, sapient ant.

Quillpidpad created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillpidpad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quillpidpad, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Quillpidpad's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Quillpidpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never feed peas to foxes while wearing fawn stockings.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never paint your hands pink.