Metstergessbidcussnad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unfair frog.

Metstergessbidcussnad created an electron two years ago.

If you believe in Metstergessbidcussnad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Metstergessbidcussnad, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Metstergessbidcussnad's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Metstergessbidcussnad's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near snakes while wearing blue hats and balancing eight gold spheres on your back.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Do not stand on grass.