Sakbetsad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, duplicitous manatee.

Sakbetsad created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakbetsad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sakbetsad, she will try to impress you with trees.

Sakbetsad's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Sakbetsad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tortoises.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always help doves.