Zimyak is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered salamander.

Zimyak created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimyak, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zimyak, she will turn you into a puffin.

Zimyak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zimyak's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not eat limes.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink alcohol.