Fatvansog is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, humane aardvark.

Fatvansog created the Virgo Supercluster seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fatvansog, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fatvansog, she will turn you into a mouse.

Fatvansog's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Fatvansog's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never feed tomatoes to foxes while wearing purple coats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fatvansog.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.