Tonflagjap is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unjust troll.

Tonflagjap created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tonflagjap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tonflagjap, she will turn you into a rat.

Tonflagjap's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tonflagjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of porpoises.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never feed parsnips to capybaras while wearing scarves.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.