Titkikbum Hadlipbunjigpas is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, omnipotent ant.

Titkikbum Hadlipbunjigpas created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Titkikbum Hadlipbunjigpas, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Titkikbum Hadlipbunjigpas, she will cry a lot.

Titkikbum Hadlipbunjigpas' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Titkikbum Hadlipbunjigpas' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Hamsters are not to be trusted.