Sandwatjad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, tranquil grasshopper.

Sandwatjad created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandwatjad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sandwatjad, she will throw large rocks at you.

Sandwatjad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Sandwatjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Do not keep four cats in a large pit.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not kill mice.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.