Tar is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, idiotic wolf.

Tar created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tar, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tar, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tar's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Tar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near grasshopers while wearing white scarves and balancing five carbon spheres on your chest.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not commit murder.