Bappodjam is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring cobra.

Bappodjam created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bappodjam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bappodjam, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bappodjam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bappodjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed lots of strawberries to hamsters while wearing gray stockings.