Kipsadbag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent fish.

Kipsadbag created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Kipsadbag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kipsadbag, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kipsadbag's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Kipsadbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near moths while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing four titanium spheres on your face.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. You must pray to Kipsadbag three times a day.