Metgessyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, temperamental chicken.

Metgessyarl created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metgessyarl, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Metgessyarl, she will jump up and down on your head.

Metgessyarl's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Metgessyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Metgessyarl.

2. Hide if three mice approach from the west.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away if four eagles approach from the east.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.