Nurtbedkonhimpopzen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, smart hare.

Nurtbedkonhimpopzen created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtbedkonhimpopzen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nurtbedkonhimpopzen, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nurtbedkonhimpopzen's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Nurtbedkonhimpopzen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Feed all hungry pigs.

5. Never play with disobedient children.