Badtailbam is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody weasel.

Badtailbam created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Badtailbam, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Badtailbam, it will laugh at you.

Badtailbam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Badtailbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow dresses.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.