Sandflanpin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, strong hyena.

Sandflanpin created water two years ago.

If you believe in Sandflanpin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sandflanpin, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sandflanpin's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Sandflanpin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never write about eukaryotes.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never paint your head white.