Tigsawpas is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, prudent weasel.

Tigsawpas created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Tigsawpas, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tigsawpas, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tigsawpas' most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tigsawpas' Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Erect six tin sculptures of Tigsawpas on top of important buildings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about eagles.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.