Badjanbap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, flying crocodile.

Badjanbap created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Badjanbap, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Badjanbap, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Badjanbap's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Badjanbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Never eat bread.

3. Do not hurt ducks.

4. Never wear indigo coats.

5. Never talk about dark energy near tapirs while wearing magenta skirts and balancing nine copper spheres on your hands.