Stafxuckvingep is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, witless manatee.

Stafxuckvingep created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Stafxuckvingep, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Stafxuckvingep, he will turn you into a worm.

Stafxuckvingep's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Stafxuckvingep's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not hurt snails.

4. Do not take Stafxuckvingep's name in vain.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.