Milbatmis is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, grumpy lobster.

Milbatmis created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Milbatmis, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Milbatmis, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Milbatmis' most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Milbatmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill otters.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Milbatmis.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.