Wonkikrip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic fox.

Wonkikrip created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wonkikrip, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wonkikrip, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Wonkikrip's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Wonkikrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of grasshopers.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Always help sick hamsters.