Quagloopwab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust dingo.

Quagloopwab created time and space five million years ago.

If you believe in Quagloopwab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quagloopwab, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Quagloopwab's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Quagloopwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat bark.