Pomfotbif is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, caring octopus.

Pomfotbif created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pomfotbif, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pomfotbif, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Pomfotbif's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Pomfotbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.