Habkemnut is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited whale.

Habkemnut created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habkemnut, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Habkemnut, he will be very sad.

Habkemnut's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Habkemnut's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Habkemnut five times a day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Habkemnut.

4. Never talk about dark matter near turtles while wearing red trousers.

5. Always help sharks in need.