Tamfatlim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, all-powerful goat.

Tamfatlim created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tamfatlim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tamfatlim, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tamfatlim's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tamfatlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near voles while wearing magenta ear rings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Tamfatlim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tamfatlim.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tamfatlim.