Betbonkip Gemcumnarthak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, caring camel.

Betbonkip Gemcumnarthak created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betbonkip Gemcumnarthak, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Betbonkip Gemcumnarthak, he will send minions to preach to you.

Betbonkip Gemcumnarthak's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Betbonkip Gemcumnarthak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Betbonkip Gemcumnarthak.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.