Citwothudbig Sasgondid is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, prudent porpoise.

Citwothudbig Sasgondid created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citwothudbig Sasgondid, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Citwothudbig Sasgondid, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Citwothudbig Sasgondid's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Citwothudbig Sasgondid's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must never eat carrots.

3. Never wear mauve ear rings.

4. Run away from orange whales, for they are unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.