Hakboggesscepbansandmeg Bitzakfem Vonnullhon is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, uncaring rat.

Hakboggesscepbansandmeg Bitzakfem Vonnullhon created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakboggesscepbansandmeg Bitzakfem Vonnullhon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hakboggesscepbansandmeg Bitzakfem Vonnullhon, she will turn you into a tree.

Hakboggesscepbansandmeg Bitzakfem Vonnullhon's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Hakboggesscepbansandmeg Bitzakfem Vonnullhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dogs.

2. Never feed gooseberries to cats while wearing pink jumpers.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think ill of sick birds.

5. Do not keep eight tapirs in a large pit.