Kemdibdob is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awesome aardvark.

Kemdibdob created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemdibdob, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kemdibdob, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kemdibdob's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kemdibdob's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always look after injured mites.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near nematodes while wearing mauve kilts and balancing four gold spheres on your face.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.