Armlanbus Kopsaslak is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, charitable goose.

Armlanbus Kopsaslak created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Armlanbus Kopsaslak, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Armlanbus Kopsaslak, it will destroy your favourite star.

Armlanbus Kopsaslak's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Armlanbus Kopsaslak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always help great tits.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never feed limes to hamsters while wearing boots.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.