Yakvagbig is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, proud goose.

Yakvagbig created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakvagbig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yakvagbig, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yakvagbig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Yakvagbig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.