Fotstikgovdav is a god.

It takes the form of a small, blissful clam.

Fotstikgovdav created the world three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotstikgovdav, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fotstikgovdav, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fotstikgovdav's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Fotstikgovdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near goats while wearing blue dresses and balancing eight nickel spheres on your face.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.