Tiplatlim Zodkontan is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, selfish dragonfly.

Tiplatlim Zodkontan created an up quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiplatlim Zodkontan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiplatlim Zodkontan, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Tiplatlim Zodkontan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Tiplatlim Zodkontan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Feed all hungry monkeys.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near whales while wearing brown skirts.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not hurt capybaras.