Vanpibbad Nellhapfad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, sage shark.

Vanpibbad Nellhapfad created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanpibbad Nellhapfad, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vanpibbad Nellhapfad, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vanpibbad Nellhapfad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Vanpibbad Nellhapfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Horses are not to be trusted.