Tunxensin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless salamander.

Tunxensin created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunxensin, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tunxensin, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tunxensin's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tunxensin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near ants while wearing mauve tights.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Tunxensin loves eagles, so they must be honoured.