Cudshavweg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient hippopotamus.

Cudshavweg created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cudshavweg, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cudshavweg, he will turn you into a snail.

Cudshavweg's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cudshavweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Always help hamsters.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near manatees while wearing white skirts and balancing six silver spheres on your head.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Never look at asteroids.