Gamfodkar is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, staggering fairy.

Gamfodkar created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamfodkar, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gamfodkar, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gamfodkar's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gamfodkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never write about spacetime.

3. Do not speak about bread.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Never laugh in the presence of manatees.