Fottalmut is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, competent hyena.

Fottalmut created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fottalmut, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fottalmut, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fottalmut's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Fottalmut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight frogs in a large pit.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. You must love Fottalmut.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fottalmut.